We often come by these relationship dynamics: the one who is too loyal, and the other who... isn't. There can be downfalls to both. The loyalist could become too controlling because the other isn't as loyal as he, which in turn can turn the other into a Gaslighter. Both are unhealthy, and is a recipe for disaster.
The Loyalist: these people are zoned in on the one, the relationship, and ways it can grow and improve. They cut off any possibility of progression with any other person, because they know if they divide their attention, it will just weaken their bond with their one. This could be problematic because they are just focused on the one, and it could be more suffocating rather than freeing and loving to the other. However they still remain loyal, it may be the source of their own demise with those who don't do the same.
The Gaslighter: this person tends to be the lesser of the loyal partners, they like to keep their options open and explore other connections and relationships, leaving their partner to only being one of many. This causes problems for The Loyalist because they pick up on this outside diversion and attention, and may feel cheated or betrayed. Because the Gaslighter doesn't want to feel any guilt or shame in this, so just they tell The Loyalist that they are crazy and everything is all in their head, which is what Gaslighting is. It is not acknowledging a truth in fear of losing that partner, because they want to have both. But both doesn't work for The Loyalist, just the one will do. And this is why so many relationships fail.
No comments:
Post a Comment