For the first time in my life, I am doing Nothing. I do not have a job, I am not going to school, I am not in a relationship. I do not have one cent to my name, and I currently live with my father who is providing for me. I sleep most of the time. And when I am not sleeping, I am either eating or watching internet TV shows or Facebooking. Which I still equate to Nothing.
This is depressing. I know.
For the first time in my life, I feel like am exploring what it's like to really have nothing going for myself. Except the fact that I am living with my long lost father. So really, that is the only work I have accomplished, by reconnecting with him. So I guess I am delving into this Nothingness for a reason. And that is in fact Something.
It's still depressing though.
But now I feel like I have to shake myself out of it. I just HAVE to start doing again. Get back out there again. Take my life back again. I am going to trust that this Nothingness happened for a reason. It's been almost two years. And in my heart I feel that it is time to move on.
I must change my scenario once again. Or else I am afraid I will be stuck here for a very long time. I don't want to remain stuck here. Although I am so grateful for this opportunity to come back home and reconnect with my father. But I must get my wheels turning again, or I might as well just die. And I don't want to die.
