It's just been really difficult for me to see the goodness in people these days.
Again, they say this is usually a reflection of ourselves, so
I must think I suck.
But really, people really do suck.
Friday, April 21, 2017
Everybody Wants To Be The Greatest
Everybody wants to be the greatest.
Do the best at life.
Well I guess it's a good thing to strive towards.
But why do we have to constantly be comparing ourselves to others?
Why are we always competing with one another?
Maybe it's the innate survival of the fittest wiring we still have in our DNA.
I'm just trying to be better than myself yesterday.
I don't really care about other people, what they do, how good they are doing it.
It's a waste of my energy and focus.
I wish I liked people.
Maybe it's a reflection of myself. That's what they say.
I'm just working on my own confidence in myself,
I don't need to beat someone else at something to see that confidence through.
I don't need that validation.
But people seem to need that competition for some reason.
So they have something to conquer or win over.
I don't want to do that.
I just don't care enough.
Sometimes I think the things that are meant to be yours happen regardless.
But many believe that it has to be fought over.
Maybe I just don't have the fight in me.
Why?
I'm not sure when I started hating people.
Or just being around them.
I just don't want to interact in any way.
Why?
Is that okay?
Or are we here to constantly interact with people?
I'm trying to be in public again,
Like the cafe thing. I used to do that. But I had more of a focus then.
I don't have much focus now.
Just kind of floating.
And it's extremely vulnerable.
Being unemployed sucks.
Do the best at life.
Well I guess it's a good thing to strive towards.
But why do we have to constantly be comparing ourselves to others?
Why are we always competing with one another?
Maybe it's the innate survival of the fittest wiring we still have in our DNA.
I'm just trying to be better than myself yesterday.
I don't really care about other people, what they do, how good they are doing it.
It's a waste of my energy and focus.
I wish I liked people.
Maybe it's a reflection of myself. That's what they say.
I'm just working on my own confidence in myself,
I don't need to beat someone else at something to see that confidence through.
I don't need that validation.
But people seem to need that competition for some reason.
So they have something to conquer or win over.
I don't want to do that.
I just don't care enough.
Sometimes I think the things that are meant to be yours happen regardless.
But many believe that it has to be fought over.
Maybe I just don't have the fight in me.
Why?
I'm not sure when I started hating people.
Or just being around them.
I just don't want to interact in any way.
Why?
Is that okay?
Or are we here to constantly interact with people?
I'm trying to be in public again,
Like the cafe thing. I used to do that. But I had more of a focus then.
I don't have much focus now.
Just kind of floating.
And it's extremely vulnerable.
Being unemployed sucks.
Competition
Here's one thing about me,
I don't compete.
It's boring.
It's ego-driven.
I don't like indulging in my ego.
It's not fun.
Many people loooooooove the competition ego game
I don't compete.
It's boring.
It's ego-driven.
I don't like indulging in my ego.
It's not fun.
Many people loooooooove the competition ego game
At who can be the best person.
I think it's boring. And pointless.
So I don't play it.
Maybe in sports, for some reason.
But that's about it.
Or maybe with music sometimes.
But when it comes to competing with people in life?
No thanks, I'll pass.
So, if you're trying to compete with me?
I. Don't. Give. A. Fuck.
Find someone else to play with.
Thanks.
I think it's boring. And pointless.
So I don't play it.
Maybe in sports, for some reason.
But that's about it.
Or maybe with music sometimes.
But when it comes to competing with people in life?
No thanks, I'll pass.
So, if you're trying to compete with me?
I. Don't. Give. A. Fuck.
Find someone else to play with.
Thanks.