Here's the thing, when our emotions and body react to certain situations, we are usually in fight or flight mode, and it's usually important to listen to those emotions. We are taught to "just suck and up and show up," even if we are feeling extremely negatively towards the situation. However, if we are feeling and telling ourselves this everyday, what is that telling us about the self-care of ourselves? Or is this just internal "tough-love"?
Well, I payed attention to my reactions. I listened to that voice that kept saying, "this isn't right, this isn't right." At least not right for right now. It reminded me of the days I struggled in middle school. I dreaded each day as I woke up in the morning, until I made a change one day to switch schools-- which ultimately made my high school experience one of the most happiest times of my life, believe it or not. But would my high school experience have been great regardless, had I not made the switch? I will never know.
It seems to be that the ultimate internal debate is changing environment vs. changing attitude. Well, if you think about environment, there are thousands of species who thrive in one ecosystem over others. Why try seeing if they will survive in the environments in which they struggle, if there is a way out to something that is better for them? Is this so wrong to find environments that bring us nourishment and happiness? Does this make them weak if they have a place to go that is just easier for them to survive? When did the priority of self-nurturement become such a taboo?
If you ask me, happiness is not a luxury, it is a means of survival as well. I don't want my life goal to be suffering, I want my life goal to be happiness. And even though I will struggle inevitably, at least I'll know it will be worth it for the betterment of my well-being.
Because while you can be physically alive in this world, you can still very well remain spiritually, mentality, and emotionally dead. And that, in my opinion, is no way to live.
We'll see, though. Maybe my attitude will eventually change. I mean, didn't all of our species evolve from fish? I am happy staying a fish for now.
Well, I payed attention to my reactions. I listened to that voice that kept saying, "this isn't right, this isn't right." At least not right for right now. It reminded me of the days I struggled in middle school. I dreaded each day as I woke up in the morning, until I made a change one day to switch schools-- which ultimately made my high school experience one of the most happiest times of my life, believe it or not. But would my high school experience have been great regardless, had I not made the switch? I will never know.
It seems to be that the ultimate internal debate is changing environment vs. changing attitude. Well, if you think about environment, there are thousands of species who thrive in one ecosystem over others. Why try seeing if they will survive in the environments in which they struggle, if there is a way out to something that is better for them? Is this so wrong to find environments that bring us nourishment and happiness? Does this make them weak if they have a place to go that is just easier for them to survive? When did the priority of self-nurturement become such a taboo?
If you ask me, happiness is not a luxury, it is a means of survival as well. I don't want my life goal to be suffering, I want my life goal to be happiness. And even though I will struggle inevitably, at least I'll know it will be worth it for the betterment of my well-being.
Because while you can be physically alive in this world, you can still very well remain spiritually, mentality, and emotionally dead. And that, in my opinion, is no way to live.
We'll see, though. Maybe my attitude will eventually change. I mean, didn't all of our species evolve from fish? I am happy staying a fish for now.
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