Venting

Sometimes, you feel like you need to release something, but don't know what or how. There are so many modes of release: of frustration, grief, sadness, anger, etc. And I felt a need to express something for the past few days, but didn't know what I needed to say or do exactly. That's when freewriting can come in handy. You just start writing (or typing), and then you create the space for that release to happen, naturally.

Since my assault & knee injury happened almost 6 weeks ago, I began to delve into the practice of sound healing. Now one of my first thoughts is, "here we go again, Joy, with another business venture idea..." And what I realized is that each idea will always require the same kind of action in order to become a successful "business." It's hard to see a healing practice as a business. It just seems counter-intuitive. But yet, I have been going back to the drawing board, time and time again this past decade basically, trying to find the thing that works. The thing that just clicks, and the "business" kind of just flows naturally. But this idea allows me to incorporate sound & music, but with a more somatic approach. And I think the presence of my knee injury with the ever presence of music have brought me to this realization. 

So yes, I am getting a fourth certification in a different field of "business" or "work." (If you're wondering what the others are, they are a Real Estate License, & certificates in Human Rights Consulting & Happiness Coaching). But this one might be in the most alignment, because it involves music & sound, for healing. Not only do I have a natural interest in sound healing, it might be a way to help me release stored trauma I might still have in my body. So we shall see. 

The interesting thing is, I never realized I was self-healing myself with sound since I was a baby, but I just didn't know that's what I was doing. Because music is a natural self-soothing mechanism. Naturally, I wasn't trying to sing or make music to become some brand or famous person, or to make a living as your typical definition of a musician, per se. I was making music because I was using it as a therapy to heal my emotional & mental wounds. For healing myself.  And I've come to terms with that recently, and I am okay with that. 

So when I think of the difference between a Musician and a Sound Healing Practitioner, they are one in the same. Because I believe the true essence of a musician is a sound healing practitioner. But with the development of the music industry, and turning music & its musicians into commodities, we strayed away from the true purpose of music, which has been practiced by cultures for healing purposes for thousands of years.  So, instead of separating myself from music entirely, I have discerned the difference between the music industry, and the music itself. I can step away from one, without stepping away from the other. And that, is a sound thought & feeling.